I mentioned to a friend and reader of this blog that I used to enjoy doing creative writing. She mentioned that I should find some of the old things that I had written and share them on the blog. So here is one of my essays. Hope you enjoy it.

Taking a Nap: More than meets the eyes
by: Nathanael Dungan (circa February 2004, BEFORE I had in-laws – don’t want to offend any of my readers)

Recent studies have shown that the human body is incapable of functioning fully without a brief break midway through the day during which deep relaxation occurs. I believe that I read that in a prestigious medical journal. Or perhaps I dreamt it during one of my afternoon naps.

For some the act of napping ends when a person graduates from kindergarten. For others, like myself, the napping continues on into adolescence and even adulthood. And whether the article in the journal was true or imagined; I believe the benefits of taking a nap are numerous.

Many people do not know that there are different kinds of naps. Although a nap could be defined as any sleep that occurs at a time other than bedtime, there are many forms and variations of the nap. All naps fit into one of two broad categories: Planned or Accidental. And each of these categories can be divided even further into subcategories.

Planned Naps:
Planned naps do not have to be planned far in advance although that can be the case. Many people who believe that God created the universe in 6 days and rested on the 7th have a planned nap which occurs every week at the same time. It occurs every Sunday afternoon. Many people begin to look forward to the next “day of rest” the moment they wake from their Sunday afternoon nap. This nap has been dubbed many things which seem to depend on which denomination of church a person attends. I have been known to call it the “Sunday Slumber”, “Sunday Snooze”, or “Sunday Siesta el Grande”.

As I said previously, a planned nap does not mean that it was necessarily thought of days or even hours ahead of time. It simply means that the sleep was done on purpose. As an example, let us consider the hypothetical story of “Dalton”.

Dalton works at his local “Billy’s Lube Express” where your car is serviced in under 20 minutes or you get a free massage from Billy’s mother-in-law. Dalton often finds himself struggling to stay awake at work due to his late nights studying to pass his correspondence course in cosmetology. This causes him to work more slowly. One particularly rough morning, after being slapped several times by Billy’s angry mother-in-law, Dalton thought to himself, “I definitely need a nap when I get off work.” Upon his arrival home, Dalton took a nap. A planned nap.

Other times a person may just come home and decide to take a short nap. These are also called “power” naps because they seem to energize the person. They often last only 15 to 20 minutes. I sometimes take four or five power naps a day. Often consecutively.

There are many different kinds of planned naps. For example:

-the “long day at work “nap is planned after the person has forced themselves to stay awake at work but is feeling the affects of sleeplessness.

-the “something needs to be done around the house” nap occurs when a person, normally a man, wants to get out of doing something in the house, yard, or garage and instead sits himself in the Lazy Boy and becomes a lazy boy.

-the “in-laws are over” nap occurs when a person escapes to a different part of the house and falls asleep rather than have to deal with the spouses family.

-the “headache” nap occurs when a person is trying to get rid of a headache, real or imagined. These “headaches” are often brought about by a loved one’s highly irritating voice. Closely related to both the “something needs to be done around the house” nap and the “in-laws are over” nap.

-the “I’m supposed to be somewhere I don’t want to be” nap occurs when a person is avoiding a situation such as a baby shower. This is done so the excuse, “sorry I didn’t make it, I fell asleep” excuse can be used. Thus they are taking a planned nap, but calling it an accidental nap.

Accidental Naps:
Whatever the circumstance, a planned nap is taken on purpose. The opposite category of naps is, then, the accidental naps. These occur any time that sleep happens without the individual meaning to fall asleep. Accidental naps can happen at any time and any place. Before discussing different types of accidental naps let us look at another case study.

Consider the story of Anita. Anita has a terrible habit of falling asleep on the job. Her boss has threatened to fire her if it does not stop. Anita tries to hide the fact that she has fallen asleep, but it is nearly impossible. You see, she is a cake decorator.

I don’t believe there is a single person who has not experienced an accidental nap of some kind. There are many different types of accidental naps. For example:

-the “monotone teacher” nap occurs in classrooms all over the world on a daily basis.

-the “not going to fall back asleep, just lay here a second longer” nap occurs when a person turns off the alarm clock because they are confident they will not have trouble getting up if they just lay there a couple more minutes. Mass hysteria often follows.

-the “shower” nap occurs when people struggle to wake up in the morning even when there is hot water running over their bodies. This nap usually ends when the warm water runs out and is followed by any number of expletives.

-the “bored meeting” nap is similar to the “monotone teacher” nap but occurs in meetings at work places where refreshments and/or large amounts of beverages containing caffeine are not provided.

-the “stared at the computer screen too long” nap happens when the body’s automatic “eye saver” comes on and the whole room goes dark.

-the “just going to rest my eyes while I drive” nap usually begins with the driver closing just one eye at a time and can end with a sudden startle reaction and bodily excretion of some kind. It is best to avoid this type of nap at all costs.

-the “laying in bed talking to the significant other on the phone” nap occurs after a person claims they are not too tired to talk to their loved one. Numerous moments of silence are common in the minutes leading up to the sound of snoring.

-the “Sunday afternoon football” nap is similar to the “Sunday Snooze” but occurs during a football game that the viewer had every intention of watching in its entirety. This is the accidental form of the “Sunday Snooze”.

-the “got stuck watching a romantic movie” nap accidentally occurs in both movie theaters and homes, but is generally only taken by men. This can also be found in the planned nap category in some situations.

-the “got stuck watching an action movie” nap is the female version of the “romantic movie” nap. A similar nap is the “sports” nap often taken by females while a man is watching a sporting event on television.

-the “just going to sit for a moment” nap is generally a male only nap which occurs while shopping for long periods of time at malls with females. These men are often found asleep on a bench of some kind still clutching their wife’s purse in their hands.

-the “highly medicated” nap occurs whenever cold medication or other medicine is taken at any time other than right before bed and results in sleep. Many of the other types of naps previously mentioned may actually be incorrectly categorized if medicine is involved. Note: The “highly medicated” nap can also be a planned nap. For example:

Every Thursday night Jake and his wife Stacey have a date night. They alternate who plans the date. Stacey loves to watch old romantic comedies. Jake does not. Jake suffers from severe allergies which require medications which make him drowsy. Interestingly Jake’s allergies only flare up about every other week. Usually on Thursdays.

Benefits to Naps:
It has been shown that naps come in all forms and varieties; planned and unplanned. But regardless of what type it is, all naps have the same benefits. The first thing that a nap does is refresh the body and make it ready to face the rest of the day. It allows the body to shut down for a while and regain its energy. The second thing a nap does is allow you to escape reality for a while. The stresses of life can be forgotten for a period of time as your body and mind enters a state of relaxation.

Taking naps puts you in a relaxed state without having to do something illegal. After you wake up from a nap you still have a feeling of relaxation and sleepiness that will stay with you for a while. This brings me to my favorite type of napping.

The “just prior to bed-time” nap generally happens on a couch or other comfortable place where normal night-time sleeping does not occur. It often takes place just after you think, “boy, I’m getting tired, what time is it?” This nap can be a variation of another type of nap and it can be either an accidental nap or a planned nap that lasted a little longer than anticipated. After completion of this type of nap the participant climbs into bed for full-fledged sleeping.

One final thought:
Different types of naps can follow each other. A “not going to fall back asleep, just lay here a second longer” nap can be followed by a “shower” nap. Upon arrival at work any combination of naps may occur, including a “bored meeting” nap or a “stared at the computer screen too long” nap. After a long workday a planned nap of some kind may occur. This can soon be followed by any number of accidental naps such as a “movie” nap or a “talking to the significant other on the phone” nap. The evening may then end with a “just prior to bed” nap followed by climbing into bed for the night.

But this is only on a good day. Happy Napping.